Napi Horsemanship

I spent 14 days total in the hospital. That was 14 days stuck in the same room on the same floor, not allowed outside. For someone extremely connected to nature this was an act of cruelty. There were three windows on the floor; my room, one down the hall, and then the exit. Many patients walked laps around the floor. Nine laps was a mile and you could stop at the nurses station to get paper shoe cut out for every mile. Some rooms had over ten boots on their doors. I would walk my laps and every time I passed that front entrance I would imagine just walking out. Would anyone have stopped me? I could have ran out the doors but I never did.

I was released on a Sunday around 5 pm. For some odd reason I felt a small amount of sadness leaving my room. It had given me sanctuary for two weeks, a safe place for me to heal. Honestly there were a few days in the beginning where I thought I may never leave that room. That was the most unexpected feeling for me, the bittersweet goodbye to that room.

Finally being able to walk out that entrance door was exactly how I had imagined it, if not better. My first breath of fresh air was a mix of city and a hint of the wet Washington weather. Fresh air is fresh air though and I will take it anyway I can have it. Again I felt like I had shifted realities. Pure relief had me feeling like I was floating. My partner took me down to the water and I didn’t even have to ask. It was a great drive, and for a Sunday it was buzzing with a bunch of people. Seeing all the people living their lives and enjoying themselves was great for me.

That night my partner and I walked down to this bar that has some great food, picked up our order and walked back to the townhouse. I got to eat amazing food and at normal American portions, not hospital portions. And when I say I slept good that night, is an understatement. Im convinced that I didn’t even sleep those 14 days after one night back in the real world. That next morning cup of coffee (or three) are also cataloged in my memory. I wish I could bottle some of those first days back in the real world feelings. I could retire as a millionaire by 30 selling them.

Don’t ever take any of it for granted. Im grateful I got to leave that room. Im also grateful for that room for being a place I could come back to life. I can’t say I was in jail though because jail doesn’t have windows. Im quoting the love of my life here.

Don’t forget, you can always live life harder.